you are going to clean your house because a joiner is coming in the morning and
One * He is a man and like most men won't be paying any attention to dust.
Two * Even if he were to notice said dust, what do I care if he thinks my house needs dusting.
But I do care and I know I shouldn't. I don't want him to be able to utter to anyone that for someone who doesn't have a job, my house is a tip. It feels like a tip most of the time but that isn't the point. I don't want other people to know this. I have a decidedly love/hate relationship with keeping house. On the one hand I rebel like buggery and feel I shouldn't have to be domesticated and I will not do chores if I don't want to and the house won't fall down because it's a bit dusty. It's a long, long, long way off from an episode of 'How clean is your house?' so I can procrastinate all I like. Yet on the other hand I do feel like it's my job and I want to do a good job. Being my own *boss* means I have the power to decide my hours etc and that is where the problem lays. I can be proclaim 'manyana' at a drop of a hat and so I do quite often, particularly when I have a project on the go. It was different before my boys went to school, I had a lot of 'had to' things and just got on with it, complaining of course, but I got on with it. Now because I have a bit of choice in how to spend my day I giggle to myself, have a bit of mischief and don't do as much as I should.
I wonder if it's a reaction to it being so full on when my boys were younger. Being a mum, does not mean doing what you like, there is little choice in how your day will pan out but now I get to choose, there's no one else here, it's just me.
It's the challenge of being a woman. Feeling like you should be house proud and at the same time thinking there's more to life than housework. Being at home may give you more time for chores but it doesn't necessarily make for a stimulating life. Getting the balance is the tricky thing. Does anyone out there ever get the balance right? Don't hate me working mums who may think I have a right cheek to complain when I haven't got a job. Not working is not like being on holiday from work, it's filled with supposed to's and waiting for everyone to come home from their lives, it doen't feel like a privilege. We are all trying to get the balance whether at home or at work. Like I said, do any of us feel we get the balance right?
So I do a bit of the Lazy Princess routine and get on with the washing, rebel a bit then clean the toilets, procrastinate a lot then get the iron out. Compose a post then clean the whole house for a workman who is just going to cover it in saw dust anyways.
Modern woman me!
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