Feeling like a hormonal Keith Lemon.....

...and this is why.

"Shiting"

Who knows how it is that my wrist is in this state today? 

Am rubbish at typing with one finger let alone my left hand.  

So why am I?  

A blatant non-apologetic need for sympathy I'm afraid.

My hormone riddled body wants to weep for the pain, the inconvenience and the unfairness if it.

I had so many plans...scunnered now.  

Under strict instructions not to use it.

Must fight the childish rebelliousness in me to do what the buggery I want, sore wrist or no sore wrist.

Could be worse I know, I could have dodgy eighties hair and a tash.

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In a right tizz!

So I have a wee bit of surgery tomorrow and I'm in a right tizz about it.  It is a wee bit, a rummage around in my gums for a stray bit of tooth (bone?) that was getting in the way but in the year and a half since I was referred to a surgeon, it has moved out of the way but still tomorrow it's all go and I'm full to the gunnels with nervous energy.  I'm getting a couple of teeth taken out at the same time so I'll get my teeth as straight as can be orthodontically, it was this or have my jaw broken on each side and re-aligned.  You can see why I went for the tooth removal.  

It is quite ridiculous how nervous I am! 

I could have had a general anaesthetic but after the last time, jeez it made me so weepy and sad when I woke up and I found that so very mortifying getting pushed through the hospital and into the ward  in full view with blood all over me (every time I opened my mouth it sprayed every where) and sobbing.  This time I opted for a local with sedation (thank goodness they'll be working on my mouth, I'm a loon at the best of times.  Who know what I may say sedated?) but the other day I realized that means I'll be awake getting stitches, my ultimate fear.  It properly  FREAKS me out, just the thought of a needle and thread going through skin ......my imagination does not need this kind of stimuli.  I cannae do any kind of impaling or puncturing or needles.  I really should have went for the general.  Tis too late now!  I know I probably won't care what they do to me if I am sedated but I'm not sedated right now and right now I care, I care A LOT!!

Way back when, three and a bit years ago, when I first saw an Orthodontist and they mentioned surgery before I could get braces, I struggled hard with the point of it as really why would anyone in their right mind have surgery for cosmetic reasons?  Non-essential surgery?  Why have the inconvenience and pain?  I went ahead with it mainly because I was getting the opportunity of free braces and well it lulled me into doing it, but I am thinking these thoughts again.  I don't want pain but I've came this far so must see it through to the end.  It was for this reason there was NO WAY I was getting my jaws broken, N.O. W.A.Y!!

I am a major woose I admit.  A proper big girl's blouse.  A bright yellow custardy coward!  Laying there having strangers poking at me makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable and helpless and a wee bitty trapped.......deep breathes!!

I wish I could stop my mind going over and over it again and again.  Time will pass as it undoubtedly does and it will be over soon enough but in the meantime......

Wish me luck that I won't feel a thing and will wonder what all the fuss was about!   

Please...

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The 52 Marvellous Makes Madness Challenge - Week 7 and not so much a rant as a monologue.

I am weeks behind with this business with lots ( I really, truly mean lots!) of WIPs.  I have a bad, bad, self inflicted stress inducing, habit of doing too many things at once.  Was I a fool to think that a weekly make challenge would somehow change this?   Yes, I think I was!!  I tend to flit between projects depending on my mood.  Sometimes I feel like sewing, other times knitting or picking up my crochet hook, or baking.  I know I cannot be alone in this.  I call it multi-tasking, Hubby Biscuit calls it never finishing anything.  I've said it before, he may have a point!!  

Week seven's make faltered at the last hurdle due to the excessive amount of stuffing required and I was not willing to use my whole stash in case I had a creative emergency, an urgent need to make 'something'.  I have since bought a child size, equivalent amount so can complete my make.  But I have moved on since then.  As I write I am in the middle of knitting four (one of which is made up of three) things, crocheting two blankets, sewing more christmas decorations, revamping old curtains and replacing cushion covers.  Say it cannot only be me that does this or has such a huge list! 

I also do not want to get into shame spiral about repeating myself AGAIN about pain.  Yes I had another visit to my Orthodontist and yes my mouth hurts in an annoyingly all encompassing way.  I tried popping pills this time which is helping a little and have even tried copious amounts of cleaning to distract me because for some reason the pain makes me sew like clumsy lump and unable to read knitting patterns properly.  Therefore I cannot create and one full day of cleaning is quite enough thank you very much!  Pants to it all!!!  I am finding myself utterly dull now about it and please, please let my next wee bit of surgery work so I only have braces for another 10 months, pretty please universe!!  I'll give you cake, lots of cake...

It gets worse, can it get worse?

It is a crime indeed when I cannot even bear the thought of baking or eating a cupcake!  I had quite forgotten the appointment when I went on about baking this week in honour of National Cupcake week!  I may just have to be a voyeur of those of you who whipped up a few!

So...

...to week seven's make.

a felt holly wreath!

As I was making this I kept thinking, have I seen this before?  I have seen something similar somewhere?  Have I?  Am I totally stealing someone's design without realizing it?  Tell me if you think I have and I will give credit for inspiration where it's due. 

I felt in need of a Christmas wreath.  I am lucky enough to own one of Mrs B's gorgeous woolly wreaths (buy one here - they really are the most delightful things!) and would really love another but Hubby is having none of it and I've already played the 'Christmas gift' card for new merino wool for a scarf so I'm scunnered!!  The result being I had to come up with one of my own.  I just have to make the important decision of where to put a jingle bell as it must, must, must, must have a jingle bell.  I must be forced to imagine Santa on his sleigh or it's just not Christmassy enough!!  It's a rule that must be enforced!  

Another restraint of my own making!  And another...

...I have the next few weeks makes sitting awaiting completion - eek!!

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A bit of a rant?  

Me thinks more of a  monologue but that, in essence, is blogging!

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The 52 Marvellous Makes Madness Challenge - Week 2 and a hodilay!

Hey folks......

Week two's marvellous make was this...

...an ickle knitted pouch for my crochet hooks.  It's a bit skew-wiffy because I added an extra kitted layer at the bottom to keep the hooks in place (too lazy to line with fabric) but it will do the job and I've been meaning to replace the vanilla pod metal tube I've been using for a while now as it makes an awful noise, all those hooks rattling around inside.  I used Rowan handknit cotton and a lovely button I received as an 'extra' from Jess at Nellie&Elsie.  I wanted to make it  for the project (you can just about see the practice squares in one of the above pictures) I have planned for next week when we are off on this...

The 'Speckled Hen'- image from cottage4you

...for a whole relaxing, rejuvenating seven days.  Meandering along the canals of England and Wales with a book or this granny square project for my bed, on my lap taking in the sights and sounds at a slow pace. Sipping on a nice wine of an evening........bliss!!  It won't be like this all the time, we will be with the Biscuits after all but the potential is there and I'm all about the potential.  Father-in-law will be present to talk 'boring' narrow boat things with Hubby Biscuit and help drive etc (all those things I want no part of!!) and Mother-in-law will be present to talk 'interesting' things about whatever we like, with me.  The Biscuits will partake in one or t'other, both or none of the above.  

As expected I am having a busy, busy week preparing.  Hubby is working a lot of extra hours coincidentally, so can't help organize as much as he usually does and to top it all I spent the better part of yesterday at the orthodontist in Edinburgh (aahh! those blue eyes!) so I am in pain today AND I had an appointment at the hospital earlier today to see a surgeon and the Biscuits and I had to wait 

ONE HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES 

to be seen.  Like I had nothing better to do when I have a holiday to prepare for and in pain and my poor boys were amazing considering.  I eased my guilt at dragging them along with crisps as soon as we got out.  Having to wait that long to discuss procedures I don't particularly want but have to have was a right pain in the proverbial...and mouth for that matter!!  I am finding it hard to concentrate on writing lists so I am procrastinating a little by being here with you.  I've a gazillion things to do and feel my usual mantra about hodilays floating around my head 'after preparing for a holiday, I'll need a holiday'.  The fact I will be going on one is handy then!!!  

Hubby Biscuit still doesn't believe me when I say I am leaving my laptop behind.  I bet he sneaks it in a bag pretending he was thinking of me if it rains continuously for the whole week but it''ll be for him really to look up something 'boring' about narrow boats! 

See you soon!!

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Waiting for pain.........

Tuesday..

waiting room, forgotten book, hot and stuffy....waiting for pain.

It was expected after all, having missed my last orthodontic appointment eight weeks previously (a total of 14 weeks -eek!!) I knew I was in for a rather large bout of it.  It would be unfair to say the actual consultation is painful, uncomfortable is the word.  I get to lay down and have a lovely view of Edinburgh Castle, albeit a blurred view with my specs off.  My consultant, the lovely Dr GC is gentle with me and has the most trusting blue eyes but afterwards, when those wires have been changed, boy my teeth hurt.

I reiterate, why I let myself be talked into this brace malarkey I'll never know.  It was never discussed as a youth.  Not until I needed oral surgery (because someone suddenly decided that something that had always been there, now needed to go) a couple of years ago and had to pay a visit to the orthodontist and he (curse those trusting eyes!) wanted to *fix* me.  I think he actually saw it as some kind of challenge and when someone says two years you don't actually think what that means.  So here's me, metal mouthed with screws in my palate and upper jaw and elastics that thankfully only have to put on of an evening now but before for a long while, it was like playing Operation placing those things around the braces, only to be removed to eat, clean my teeth or renew (each day), not being able to open my mouth or yawn properly without it hurting or snapping the darn things.  Brushing has become an 'event' with extra equipment, Hubby always tries to get in the bathroom before me at night so he's not waiting for ages.

The 'two' years are up in August but would it surprise you that it's already gone up another six to twelve months.  I met a woman in the waiting room who had had hers for ten years...TEN...and it was her who first mentioned 'elastics' to me and I didn't have a scooby what she was talking about, but I soon found out.  That's the thing.  Dr GC never mentioned screws or elastics in the beginning.  I soon learned I only hear of the next stage as the next stage is coming up and I wonder would I have gone through with it if I had only known how much it would hurt.  How much I would yearn to bite into an apple or the doozy, that I can not have chewing gum as it degrades the glue holding the braces on.  The day Dr GC announced, as I was looking for a bin for my gum, that it would be my last until the braces were off, I almost turned on my heels back out the room. 

It's two days on now and when I woke this morning I realized my teeth were no longer hurting, still tender and a little sore when eating but bearable.  I go back in April for another dose of pain but there are perks........a spectacular male dental nurse who has the most exquisite accent, Spanish or Italian - I cannot tell as he doesn't say much (like it's necessary?!?) and manages very easily to draw my eyes away from a quite magnificent view of the Castle.

I'm sure you agree, fellow bloggers, it is vital to look for the positive in all things!

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