Annoying phone calls and Scottish Gods!

We all get them and I'm sure you would agree how very, very VERY annoying they are too.  My particular gripe is how once you are done been spoken to like you are a right thicko, if you do assert yourself, i.e say no in a way that means the conversation has nowhere else to go, the other end hang up on you.  No more "How are you today Madam?" or "Hope you are having a good day/morning/afternoon/evening."  So rude and I'm not doing a 'Miranda' camp look to camera here. I'm feeling more of a 'Just been watching The Thick Of It and I'm Scottish so could really come over Malcolm Tucker if I wanted to
[excuse the rudeness of that 'not sure isn't true' line, I mean Peter Capaldi shouting, who isn't a wee bit turned on? And then there's Malcolm AND Jamie together about to burst vital forehead blood vessels.....breath]
and scream such vulgarities I'd sound like the speaking clock I'd be beeping so much and doing the Tucker face  [breath again!]  and generally acting like a crazy, mad woman mentalist'  
Alas, I am never rude even when I am asked if my husband would know.  I do tell fibs, saying things like everything in my home like windows, fitted kitchen etc are under two years old because I know if I say the real age it opens the door to offers.  Don't we all?
A friend told me, at Sky, having worked in the 'talking you in to staying dept' for years, the easiest way to cancel, and this is the most ridiculous thing ever, is to say you are moving to another country....they have nothing to say to that one apparently.  The mind boggles!  This particular friend admits to saying, when she receives annoying calls at home, her partner has died just to get people off the phone which I think is hilarious but could never say myself.
So today I stopped myself from swearing down the phone and abusing someone in a wonderfully horrific way.  I'm sure if it did happen I would be forgiven when I explained I'd had an afternoon of the Scottish Gods, Malcolm and Jamie.    [I wish!!!!]

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