I have to go shopping for the second time this week.........with a husband who follows me around....children I cannot see for crowds and all because the Royal Mail suck and have forced me to shop in the High Street.
If I could send them Ghosts of Late Post and Lost Parcels and a very scary one called the Ghost of Christmases Spoiled, I would. In my world (where obviously I rule and can be utterly ridiculous if I choose) they should be forced to listen to Vogon poetry and have to endure non-stop soaps and reality TV. Afternoon tea with Derren Brown with minging tea and dry stale chocolate cake whilst wearing braces, set in a hospital waiting room with awful Jeremy Kyle type shows on in the background and moany faced receptionists. Wet pants and a waiter who prods them repeatedly over and over and over and over and over until they beg for forgiveness, plead for their souls and wake up the next morning ordering me the biggest prize turkey from the butcher from a street urchin who happens to be passing.
If I could I would.
Until them I shake my fist at them and boo like they're baddies in a panto and off I go.....
X
Hello Ali!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you've FINALLY received brooch and pressie. I did wonder if perhaps I should have donned a pair of skis and delivered them myself! Thank you for being such a lovely bloggy pal.
Good luck out there on the High Street my friend, it's not pretty.
Hx
Oh I feel the rage just reading this! How awful. It sucks. Stick a helmet on and some padding and brave the shops and the rude christmas shoppers out there!
ReplyDeletexxx
I like your list of punishments - can you extend it to other couriers? Home Delivery Service and DHL are most deserving of Vogon poetry!
ReplyDeleteOh, poor you! I like your punishments, particularly the Derren Brown and Jeremy Kyle parts - surely 2 of the most hideous men on earth?!
ReplyDeleteMany sympathies to you - I'm also waiting for three parcels - one is for my friend who visits tomorrow and we won't see him again before Christmas. I've lost hope now. Vogon poetry is an excellent idea. xx
ReplyDeleteWe're waiting for three parcels, I feel your pain! Then there is two parcels I sent out.....Arrggg. Hope you go on OK.
ReplyDeleteOops I think I've struck lucky, all parcels ( so far ) ok. I do feel for you though. I think the weather is providing an excuse rather than a reason. Go for it girl you can do it
ReplyDeleteAh yes! The dreaded wait for parcels that are never going to arrive (where do they go?) I have had the pleasure of losing 2 so far and now have the pleasure of venturing into the chaos of mad shoppers to try and replace them! Oh I so look forward to this! Your punishment system seems to be the way forward!
ReplyDeleteGreat punishments !! I heard on the news there were delivery problems in Scotland due to the weather. Hope it all turns out well.
ReplyDeleteLouise xx
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww........... virtual hug winging your way....
ReplyDeleteI love a good rant, and this was a good one! The royal mail do suck, Im still waiting on something I ordered in November!!!!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas
Julia x x x
I think the warehouses have eaten all of my parcels stuck in the snow somewhere!
ReplyDeletex
I had to take something back to IKEA the other day and the Returns waiting area was just as you've described!! I had to wait 3/4 of an hour! Nearly went bonkers! Good luck on the High Street :)
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, I still have not recieved several gifts I ordered for christmas.
ReplyDeleteHave a good New Year...Em x