I'm fed up!
I'm fed up with feeling fed up!
Week three and I'm still poorly and it's starting to eat into me now. Really starting to get me down, not sleeping well, no energy and so, so tired. As Hubby Biscuit always says "I'm keeping it till it gets better" and I am looking after myself but impatience, hormones and a general lack of understanding as to why this b*****d cold will not go away are draining me.
I'm feeling blue, finding it hard to see the positive thus seeing black and feeling affected by the rain and the lack of sun.
One of the reasons, if not the reason I started this blog was the idea of pulling my thoughts out of me and feeling the catharsis that brings. I wrote a journal for years. Books and books filled with ink; my thoughts, feelings, ideas, my history and yet it stopped, stopped when the weight of motherhood caused such repetition I didn't want to listen to myself anymore.
It was no longer cathartic discussing my life, life simply was what it was.
After staring reading blogs I started to see blogging could open that door again so I tentatively began. I felt more freedom in my life and found a platform so here I am using that platform, putting it out there that I feel pants and saying (writing) that out loud and pulling it out of me helps just a little. Helps enough to motivate me enough to keep going and do the things I need to do today.
Helps enough to know putting The Smiths on my ipod will put me over the edge so I won't be doing that then!
Ooh and my Doctor Who DVD may come today! See, a positive thought!